Free Funny Jokes And Pictures

Donald Rumsfeld died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St.Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, “What are all those clocks?”
St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will [...]

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
The teacher reiterated that a whale could not [...]

Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over and confided to the bartender, “I’m so pissed off !”
“Oh yeah? What happened?” asked the bartender politely.
“See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her home. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we were [...]

A man absolutely hated his wife’s cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he arrived home, the cat was walking up the driveway.
The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the [...]

Son: Dad, I have a special report for school. Can I ask you a question?
Dad: Sure son, what’s the question?
Son: What is politics?
Dad: Well son, let’s take our home for example. I am the wage earner, so let’s call me the management. Your mother is the administrator of the money, so let’s call [...]

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The  first of the twosome Teed Off and watched in horror as her ball  headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.  Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his  hands together at his crotch, fell [...]