Free Funny Jokes And Pictures

A bear and a rabbit are taking a dump in the woods.
The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, “Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?”
The rabbit says, “No, of course not!”
So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit!

There were three city mice sitting at a bar. The first mouse takes a
shot of tequilla, slams the glass on the table and says, “I’m the toughest mouse in this city. I’m so tough that I walk throughout the house collecting mouse poison, return to my nest and grind up the pellets with my [...]

A duck walks into a convenience store. He asks the man at the counter, “You got any grapes?”
Guy at the counter says, “No, we don’t have any grapes.”
Duck says “okay.” and he leaves.
The next day the duck comes back in and says “You got any grapes?”
The man once again replies, “No! We do not [...]

Harry says to his pet parrot Smitty, “What do you want for your birthday?” Smitty says, “I want to get laid.”
So Harry takes Smitty to a parrot whore house, gives him a hundred bucks, and Smitty goes upstairs with a hot-looking parrot whore.
After a few minutes, Harry hears really loud screeching and squawking, so [...]

This Cowboy is riding the range when he gets ambushed by some indians. They take him back to their villiage to see the chief. The Chief looks at the cowboy and says:
“You White man, you will die at sundown, but Chief is not as evil as white man, so you gettum three wishes.
” What [...]

A man rushed into the veterinarian’s office carrying his dog, thoroughly distraught. The vet examined the dog’s still, limp body and sadly informed the man that the dog was dead.
Saddened at the loss of his best friend, the man asked the doctor if he could please try one last time to revive the dog. [...]

A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave, discovers a single bat
standing upright underneath on the floor of the cave.
Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask this fellow: “What the heck
are you doing down there?”
And the fellow shouts back: “Yoga!”